Free-T-Bone-Thursday
Thought up: 2.6.04 – 8:01am
Written: 2.7.04 - 4:29 pm
#28

So yesterday on my drive to work, I passed the college by my house and saw a young man of of larger stature cruising by my car at a not-too-hurried pace. Anyway, this larger-than-average-mammal was wearing a pair of sweat pants with a word on the back of the pants. You know the kind, the ones that the girls get that say “defense” or “flirt” or something on the back. Yea, those are the ones, but on this guy they really didn’t look like they were meant for him.

Now, I believe the word on the back was supposed to read “Tigers.” I wasn’t 100% sure on this, but it looked like it when his hams were sliding back and forth you could kinda see the other letters in there. He stopped after he’d crossed the street at the next stop light, waiting his turn to cross, and in standing there, all I could see were the letters “TS.” I don’t know how or why he might have bought these pants. Perhaps he stole them from his girlfriend or something because they looked comfortable.

“Dear God, save us from this terror!”

I’m sure that his girlfriend is NOT going to want those back after his butt cheeks have been using them as a washrag all day! I recommend burning them, or at least washing them with 100% bleach 15 or 16 times. It’s only for safety’s sake. Hopefully sometime in the near future our President will realize this crime to humanity of wearing these pants by larger men. He might pass some sort of bill outlawing this indecent exposure. While he’s at it, make every other Thursday Free-T-Bone-Thursday, and every store in town has to give them away. Until then I suppose, we’ll just have to watch grown men wear women’s clothing and pay for our dead cattle with good ol’ American counterfeit money…