If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I’d carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like “Hey, look. He’s carrying a soldering iron!” and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, “That’s right, it’s a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.” Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

If only this could have replaced the debates.

Just RAM IT! In 1980, this was rad. Now, it’s been downgraded to SUPER AWESOME!

I’d like to be buried Indian-style, where they put you up on a high rack, above the ground. That way, you could get hit by meteorites and not even feel it.

Because clearly some Everybody [shouldn’t] be Kung Fu Fighting, Cause some people aren’t “fast as lightening”. Nor are their pants.

So, I was on Bourbon Street the other day drinking a Huge Ass Beer and minding my own business, when this guy said I could take a picture with the Huge Ass Beer sign.  Of course, who could say no to this offer? 

Come to find out these photographs with the sign will cost you $5.  They are most definitely a wonder keep-sake, but not really worth $5.

Fair enough, we got pictures with the sign; I will pay the $5.  Well, all I had was a $10 bill (which, by the way, I had just spent a $3.75 ATM processing fee to get).  The nice man offered to make change.  He then offered to take some more pictures with the sign; thinking this was part of the original $5 we obliged.  Guess what?  It wasn’t, those pictures also cost $5; he didn’t need to make change anymore.

Learn from my mistakes.  Do not take pictures next to stupid signs when you are in New Orleans.

Want to get into the VIPeep room?  Careful, it gets hot in there, the chicks just melt.  No really, they melt…